Columnist says "Sexy vampires are destroying our nation's children"

There is a column at the Gainesville Sun entitled “Sexy vampires are destroying our nation’s children”–which explains why Twilight and True Blood are the cause of all evil with our nation’s youth. No, I’m not kidding–

"Despite the recent influx of vampire-related content into the mainstream media and the youthful enthusiasm that accompanied it, vampirism still remains a dangerous threat to our nation’s children. Unchecked interest in vampires can lead to unfortunate summer wardrobe choices, rickets and diabetes. We can’t afford to lose our kids to these flashy, sexy, fly-by-night vampire impersonators who continue to fill their heads with untruths about the vampire lifestyle."

Read the rest of the (intentionally funny, I hope) rant at the newspaper’s website.